Robin's Adventure in Oz
by pingo1387
Summary: During a strange sequence of events, Robin meets a scarecrow with no sense of direction, a skeleton with no heart, and a lion with no courage. Wizard of Oz parody.


**what's up everyone i wrote this instead of studying for a test tomorrow let's fucking go**

 **i know everyone has franky as the tin man but there were already so many clichés in this story so just let me have this okay**

* * *

Robin was . . . confused, to say the least.

"Clean that up _immediately!"_

She was in her aunt's old house, and her aunt was there, ordering her around as she'd always done. She looked down and saw Chopper in her lap, squirming at the awful aunt's voice.

"Chopper?" she whispered. "What's going on?"

Chopper looked up. "Well, your auntie's being mean," he whispered back.

"Did you hear me, child?!"

Robin frowned and stood, holding Chopper. "I'm not a child," she said. "And I think I'll be leaving now. You can clean the house yourself. Goodbye."

Ignoring her aunt's shrieks, she left the house and began walking with Chopper. The landscape was not that of Ohara, but a winding lane stretching out for miles over dry farmland.

"Where're we going?" Chopper asked, climbing up to sit on her shoulder.

"Away from here."

They had hardly walked for a minute when the sky darkened and a horrible roaring filled their ears. They turned to see a tornado in the distance, bearing down on them.

"What's _that?!"_ Chopper shrieked.

"A tornado," Robin said, surprisingly calm. "It's a huge twisting storm that occurs in very dry lands where hot and cold fronts collide, a little like a land cyclone. It can bring up people, animals, and even large objects, throwing them high into the air."

" _Then can we run?!"_

"Oh! Yes, of course."

Robin turned and sprinted away, Chopper clinging to her shoulder, but of course the storm was faster. It caught up to them in no time, wind whirling at their ankles, and soon Robin's legs were spinning wildly as she tried to run in midair.

"Hold on tight!" she yelled over Chopper screaming in her ear. "Stay with me!"

She shut her eyes tight . . .

. . . And when she opened them again, she found herself hovering over an unrecognizable landscape, colors popping even from that height. Chopper was unconscious but she held him tightly.

"Oh, dear," she murmured as she began to fall. Thinking fast, thousands of arms sprouted from the ground below and formed an enormous hand, which caught her and Chopper and slowly set them down.

Chopper woke up and Robin checked him before dusting herself off. She looked around and started when she saw a colorful village, and their inhabitants—strangers who came up to her hips—staring at her in awe.

"Hello," she said politely. Chopper tugged her sleeve. "Sorry for intruding."

"The witch is dead," one whispered.

"What did you call me?"

Chopper tugged on her sleeve again, and she looked over to see an upturned bucket next to soaked clothes.

"The wicked witch of the east is dead!" another one cried, and the village erupted into cheers.

"Miss, miss," one exclaimed, pushing through the celebrations to seize her hand, "you killed the wicked witch! She has terrorized our village for years, and now she is gone!"

"But . . . how?" Robin said.

"It must have been that water," the person said, pointing to the bucket. "Your magical hands upturned it, and melted her!"

"What an awful weakness," Robin remarked. "To not only be able to not swim, but to melt at the very touch of water . . . I'm very glad you're all free now, but I must be going."

"Ah, so soon?" another small person exclaimed in disappointment. "If you must, miss!" He pointed to a golden road. "Follow the yellow-brick road, miss, and you will soon reach the Emerald City!"

"Emerald City?"

"Oh, yes," yet another one said, nodding so hard Robin feared her head might fall off. "There is a wonderful wizard there who is said to perform miracles!"

"Miracles . . ." Robin smiled. "Interesting. Thank you all very much. Goodbye!"

"Goodbye! Goodbye!" they called after her as she began her walk down the road.

"Those were nice people," Chopper remarked. The village was out of sight.

"This all feels familiar," Robin said, staring into the distance. "Just a little bit . . ."

She looked at her feet and frowned. "I could've sworn I'm supposed to be wearing silver shoes."

"Silver? What for?"

"I don't know. Never mind."

They passed by a field, and paused when they heard a shout.

"Go away, dumb crows! Where are you?!"

They turned and saw a man dressed as a scarecrow, grass-green hair poking out from under a patchy hat. He was facing an empty field, and the crows were behind him, cawing as if laughing at him.

"Stupid birds!" The man finally turned and noticed them. "Hey. Who're you?"

"Robin," Robin said. "And this is Chopper."

"Robin? You look like a Dorothy to me, but . . . whatever."

"Zoro, what are you doing here?" Robin said in exasperation.

"Zoro who? I don't have a name." Zoro scratched his cheek. "I'm a scarecrow, that's it."

"Well, everyone needs a name."

"If you insist. Zoro it is. Pleasure. Think you can help me get these crows?"

Chopper turned big and yelled, and the crows flew away in fright.

"There," he said, turning small again.

"Thanks." Zoro seemed unperturbed by the changes in size. "I was put in this field to scare away the crows from the crops, but . . . I can never find them."

One landed on his head as he spoke and cawed. He looked around, checked the ground, and peered between his legs.

"Say," Robin said, shooing the crow away, "Chopper and I are on our way to see a wizard. It's said he can perform miracles. Would you like to join us?"

"Whatever for?"

"Perhaps he can give you a sense of direction."

"Sense of—? That's not necessary," Zoro said, waving as if pushing away the suggestion. "There's nothing wrong with my internal compass. I dunno what you mean."

Robin and Chopper glanced at each other and turned pitying looks to Zoro.

"In any case . . ." Robin said slowly, "it might be good for you to get out of this field for a spell. Would you come with us anyway? Stretch your legs?"

Zoro hesitated.

"Got nothing better to do," he admitted, wading out of the field. He brushed grains from his pants. "Which way?"

"This way," Robin said, gently taking his hand and guiding him.

They traveled down the yellow-brick road, Chopper keeping an eye on Zoro, who occasionally began to walk backwards or wander from the path. They soon entered the woods, where sunlight streamed from the trees.

"Ah!" Chopper cried, and Robin and Zoro turned to see what he was looking at—well, Zoro turned the opposite way until Robin spun him around.

A skeleton in a fine suit and afro lay against a tree, unmoving, of course.

"Brook?" Robin said.

"Poor guy," Zoro said.

All three clasped their hands together (Chopper holding his hooves against each other) and bowed their heads in prayer.

And when they looked up, the skeleton was standing, his own fingers intertwined and head bowed.

Chopper screamed, and the skeleton screamed too.

"What are we screaming about?!" he cried. "I saw you all praying, and I thought I should join in!"

"We were praying for you," Zoro snapped. "Aren't you dead?"

"Yes," Brook admitted. "I was travelling, looking for my heart, and I decided to take a nap against this tree . . . pardon me, may I have your names?"

"Zoro."

"Chopper."

"Robin."

Brook stared at Robin. "Are you sure that's your name? I could have sworn it was Dorothy . . . regardless, you're very beautiful. May I see your—?"

"You said something about a heart?" Chopper said, no longer scared but curious.

"Yes," Brook said. He opened his suit, revealing a circular section of his ribcage missing on the left side. "This is how I died, you see. I believe I was attacked in my sleep, and I woke up without a heart to my name. My skin fell off later," he added conversationally.

"Do you need your own heart back?" Robin asked. "Surely it's rotted away by now, if you've skeletonized since then."

"I suppose you're right," Brook said, a bit wistfully. "Any heart will do, so long as I have something to put here. I just don't feel whole without it."

"We're on our way to see a wizard," Chopper piped up. "They say he can perform miracles! Maybe he could help you get your heart back!"

"Do you really think so?" Brook said, interested. "Why are you on your way to see this wizard?"

"Curiosity," Robin said with a shrug.

"Just wanted to go on a walk," Zoro said, talking to a tree. Robin gestured to him, indicating his problem to Brook, who nodded.

"Then, if it's not too much trouble," he said, stepping forward, "may I accompany you on your journey?"

"Of course," Robin said, smiling as she and the others stepped aside to make room for him. Chopper grabbed Zoro, turning him the right way around, and all four went on their way.

The woods soon grew dark around them. Chopper clung to Robin and Zoro was able to keep an eye on their surroundings by how much he got turned around.

"Do you think there are dangerous animals here?" Robin said.

"Don't say that!" Brook cried, clutching the place where his heart once was.

"What kinds of creatures?" Zoro asked.

"Oh . . . lions, tigers, maybe bears . . ."

Chopper whimpered, hiding his face.

"Lions, tigers, and bears?" Brook whispered, mishearing her, as he had no ears. "Oh, my . . ."

"What do you have to worry about?" Zoro said, nudging him. "They're after meat, aren't they? You're too skinny. Heck, I'm made of straw, I'll be fine, too."

"What about us?!" Chopper yelled.

"Well, you're probably goners," Zoro agreed, starting to walk off the path. Brook grabbed him and straightened him out.

"He's right," Robin said solemnly. "We should be careful. Though, Brook, you should be careful as well. I hear wolves enjoy chewing on bones."

Brook gave a great shudder.

"Hear me and tremble, travelers!"

The party stopped, listening.

"Where's it coming from?" Chopper whimpered.

"I am the mighty lion! Hear me roar!"

Something like a forced yell sounded through the trees before cracking and going high-pitched, abruptly ceasing.

"Leave this place at once!" came the trembling voice again.

"It's coming from there," Zoro said, pointing to the right side of the road. Everyone else promptly went the other direction into the trees.

"Leave, or I shall . . ."

Chopper pushed aside some bushes.

"I . . . I shall . . ."

A man, dressed in a ridiculous lion's suit and mane, cowered at the sight of them. The tip of his long nose was painted black.

"I shall . . . leave you . . . alone," he finished meekly. "So don't hurt me. Please."

"Hello, Usopp," Robin said in amusement.

"Who? I'm a lion!" Usopp stood. "A brave one!"

"Hello," Brook said, waving. Usopp screamed and jumped back.

"You sure don't seem brave," Chopper said. Zoro joined them at last.

"May I call you Usopp?" Robin added. "It suits you."

"Sure, go ahead," Usopp said, kicking the dirt. "It's better than 'coward,' or 'liar,' or 'wimp.'"

"But you are all of those things."

"It's true!" Usopp said with a sob, covering his face. "I wish it wasn't, but I can only pretend to be brave! Damn this lack of courage!"

"You wish to be brave?" Brook said.

"Y—Yeah," Usopp said defensively, edging away and holding his tail.

"Come with us," Robin offered. "We're on our way to see a wizard who can perform miracles. Brook's looking for a heart, and Zoro's . . ."

"Just along for the trip," Zoro said, talking to Robin rather than Usopp. Usopp squinted at him.

"Then . . . this wizard, could he grant me courage?" he said slowly.

"Perhaps," Brook said cheerfully.

"Very well!" Usopp exclaimed, drawing himself up. "Then I will join you! But please protect me."

"You're the lion here," Zoro muttered. "I'm Zoro, by the way."

The others gave their names, and Usopp stared at Robin. "You sure you're not Dorothy?"

"I'm pretty sure."

The party, now five, climbed out of the trees and back onto the yellow-brick road, heading on their way. Brook sang them a song and Usopp entertained them with lies and tall tales.

"Oh," Chopper gasped. They had come to the crest of a hill, and at the bottom rested the glimmering green city. "This is it!"

"The Emerald City," Robin said in wonder.

"Ah, my eyes have never seen such a sight!" Brook exclaimed. "But then again—"

"Where?" Zoro said, facing the way they'd come. Usopp turned him around. "Oh. Neat."

"It's gorgeous," Usopp said. "No one's gonna hurt us, right?"

"I hope not," Robin said.

They hurried down the hill, cautiously entering the city. Everything, even the clothing of the citizens, was a glimmering green, sometimes making them squint.

After asking around, they found the palace of the wizard, and knocked upon the grand doors. A mechanical eyeball came down on a tube from the eaves, making Usopp shriek and hide behind Brook as it stared at them.

"State your purpose," a voice said over a loudspeaker.

"We wish to see the wizard," Robin said clearly.

"Very well. Enter."

The doors swung open and they stepped inside, footsteps echoing in the corridor.

They reached the main room, wherein a man dressed in a very fine suit with no pants sat with his back to them, muttering over a workbench.

"So if I . . . but then . . ." He turned around. "Oh, hey! You're new to this place, aren't you?" A metal nose came to light as he strode forward, spreading his arms wide in greeting. "I'm the wizard you've come to see. You've come to see me, right? Call me Franky."

"We've heard you can perform miracles," Brook said politely. "Is this true?"

"Combination of magic and mechanics can do anything," Franky said with a nod. "But, uh, there's a problem."

"A problem?" Chopper repeated.

"Yeah. See, I use this magic wand to enchant my works, right? It can do more complicated stuff, but I'm not too good at that. Not that I'm incompetent! I'm getting off-topic."

"The wand," Usopp prompted. Zoro stared at a wall, wondering where the voice was coming from.

"Right. The wand. It was, uh, stolen."

"Stolen?" the party said together.

"By who?" Robin asked.

"The wicked b—er, witch, that is, of the west." Franky frowned, crossing his arms. "I dunno what _she_ wants with my wand, but it can't be anything good."

"Then, if we get that wand back for you," Robin said slowly, "you'd grant our wishes?"

"If I can," Franky said, lighting up. "But no one can get near her fortress without her permission, that's why I haven't gotten it back already."

"We'll find a way," Usopp said, standing up straight and puffing out his chest. "I—I'm sure of it!"

"That'd be great," Franky said, tears coming to his eyes in happiness. "You guys are the best!"

He took out a handkerchief and blew his metal nose. "Don't die!"

The party saluted, turned, and left.

"Hey, wait!" Usopp exclaimed. "Don't die?! We could die?! I changed my mind! Help!"

"You can do it!" Chopper cried, pushing him along. "I believe in you!"

They stepped outside the palace and left the city.

"So . . . where's her fortress?" Zoro asked, staring at the city. Robin held Chopper. "And how're we gonna get inside if there's a barrier, or whatever?"

"Yeah," Usopp sighed as he was lifted into the air with Robin and Chopper. "Maybe it's hopeless . . ."

"Really, let's have some hope," Brook said encouragingly as he and Zoro were likewise lifted into the air. "We haven't even begun to search yet! By the way, why is the city getting farther away?"

"Weird," Zoro agreed, staring pensively at the buildings. "Is it shrinking?"

"That is odd," Robin said with a nod, still holding Chopper.

Though it took them a moment, everyone screamed, finally noticing they were airborne.

"We're flying!" Usopp screeched, wiggling his legs about.

"Why?!" Brook cried, frozen in fear.

"You guys are slow, aren't you?" said a voice above them. Everyone looked up to see two odd creatures carrying them through the air. Both had the bodies of monkeys, but their faces were oddly human-like, and wings sprouted from their back.

"I mean, we've been carrying you for, like, a minute," continued the one with messy black hair and a scar under one eye.

"Stop wiggling or we'll drop you," threatened the other one, a blonde with an odd eyebrow.

"Luffy? Sanji?" Robin said in surprise. "Where are you taking us?"

"We've been ordered to take you to the witch," Luffy explained.

"She has a name!" Sanji hissed. "And a lovely one at that!"

"I'm not calling her anything else until she changes us back to normal!"

"Well, _I_ don't mind being in this form as long as I can be with her!"

"You're . . . taking us to the witch?" Usopp whimpered. "The wicked witch of the west?"

"That's her," Luffy said with a nod.

"How dare you call her wicked!" Sanji snapped.

"Sanji, she _has_ done some pretty bad things! And I don't like being stuck like this, or forced to do what she says!"

"I don't mind in the least!"

"Will you two shut up?" Zoro snapped. "You're giving me a headache."

"Really?" Sanji said with interest, staring down at him. "Doesn't look like you even have a brain to get one of those. I'm impressed."

Zoro sneered and turned away. Usopp murmured prayers under his breath the whole way, Robin held Chopper comfortingly, Brook thought of an old song, and Zoro tried to figure out what direction they were headed in, not quite understanding the connection between the witch's epitaph and a compass.

They came upon a dark castle on a hill, storm clouds surrounding the top. Luffy and Sanji flew them inside a window.

"My lady!" Sanji called. "We've brought them!"

"I wanna go back to sleep!" Luffy called. "Hurry up, witch!"

Usopp eyed the window, wondering if it was too high to leap from safely as heels clacked on the stone floor, approaching them.

"My queen!" Sanji cried when the witch appeared at last, a bob of red hair framing a freckled face under a pointed hat. "My luminous, radiant, beautiful—"

"That's enough out of you," the witch snapped, and Sanji fell silent. "You may both go."

They flew away, and she turned to the party.

"I saw you in my crystal ball," she said, "traveling on the yellow-brick road."

Usopp tried to growl at her, but it came out as a squeak, and she ignored him.

"I need lives," she said. "Lives for my experiments."

"Experiments for what?" Zoro said.

"If you need lives, can I go?" Brook asked politely.

"Nami, it's nice to see you, but we do need to find something," Robin said impatiently.

"You may not," Nami snapped at Brook, who hung his head in despair. "Experiments for . . . personal reasons, scarecrow."

"Does it have to do with why you took the wizard's wand?" Chopper asked bravely, only to cower when she turned an evil look to him.

"Perhaps," Robin said slowly. "Nami, do you have . . . a dream?"

"Who doesn't?"

"An ambition, I mean."

Nami's shoulders sagged. "I—what—" she sputtered.

Robin whispered something to Usopp, who nodded and ran off.

"Hey!" Nami said indignantly. She made to go after him, but froze at Zoro's hand on her shoulder.

"You're in a conversation," he said sternly. "Don't be rude."

Nami glowered and turned back to Robin. "So what if I have a dream?"

"Maybe . . . we could help you."

"Why should we?" Brook asked incredulously. "I would love to see her panties, of course—"

"What does that have to do with anything?!" Chopper said in confusion.

"—but she clearly means to harm us!"

"Yes!" Nami snapped. "I do!" She raised her hands threateningly. "I could blast you all off this tower if I pleased!"

Usopp returned, panting, with a bucket. He handed it to Robin, who thanked him as he hid behind Brook.

"Do you know what this is?" she said sweetly to Nami. Nami paled and stepped back.

"I thought so. Witches die from water," she explained to the others, and held up the bucket. "You make _one_ suspicious move and this is going in your face. Now tell us why you need the wand."

"I want to sail!" Nami blurted out, staring fearfully at the water. "I want to sail the seas, and make maps! But I can't do that as a witch, not with this weakness! Not being able to swim is one thing, but—!"

"So you were looking for a way to become human?" Robin said, still holding the bucket close.

"Yes! I haven't been successful so far, but I thought by experimenting on someone, and by using the wizard's wand, I could . . . I could . . . !"

"Then come with us," Robin said. She lowered the bucket, setting it down cautiously. "Perhaps the wizard could help you, if you return his wand."

Nami peeked at her. "He . . . could turn me into a human?"

"He could try, if you ask nicely."

Nami steeled herself, clutching her robes. "Very well," she said at last. "I will join you. Your names? I already know you're Dorothy . . ."

"Robin, actually."

The others introduced themselves.

"Then . . . let's go," Nami said. "Luffy! Sanji! Come here at once!"

The winged monkeys arrived, Luffy annoyed and Sanji pleased.

"We're going to see the wizard," she announced. She drew the wand from her robes, an object shaped a little like a wrench. "Carry these five again."

Luffy and Sanji lifted up two each (not counting Chopper, who Robin held again) and carried them out the window. Nami followed soon on a broomstick.

They landed in the Emerald City, entered the wizard's palace again, and found him at his workbench, pacing.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, spotting Nami and drawing back.

"It's okay," Robin said. Nami stepped forward and handed him his wand.

"I'm . . . very sorry," she said, the apology dragged out like knives.

He stared at her. "Alright, then."

Robin explained her situation and he raised an eyebrow.

"Is that so?" he said. "And the rest of you, what were your wishes?"

"Don't have one," Zoro said.

"I should like a heart," Brook said, patting his ribcage.

"C—Courage," Usopp whispered.

"Okay," Franky said. "Let's get going!"

It was only a matter of minutes before he brought two items to the group.

"A heart," he said, presenting Brook with a metal contraption shaped just like a human heart. Brook placed it inside his chest, and Franky made quick work patching up his ribcage.

"Oh! Glorious day," Brook sighed, tears spilling from his eye sockets. "I feel wonderful!"

"And for you," Franky said to Usopp, "have this." He presented him with a yellow-and-blue mask. "It's imbued with courage, so whenever you feel cowardly, put it on and you'll become stronger."

Usopp took it in wonder and placed it upon his face. "You're right!" he cried. "I could take on an army! Come at me, enemies of the world! I am the great lion Usopp!"

Franky winked at the others. "As for you," he said to Nami, "yours will require a little more magic than mechanics. Come with me."

He brought her behind a curtain. Sanji watched impatiently and Luffy fidgeted. Brook kept opening his suit to look at his new heart, and Usopp took off the mask, vowing to save it just in case the courage within ever ran out.

Several minutes passed, and then something miraculous happened: A shimmering cloud fell over Luffy and Sanji, and when it faded, they were human.

"We're back!" Luffy exclaimed, jumping about. He was still rather monkey-like. "Hooray!"

"Does this mean . . . ?" Sanji said, staring. And sure enough, when Nami and Franky emerged from behind the curtain, Nami's robes had been replaced with a fine white shirt and blue shorts.

"It _did_ work," she said in wonder, staring at Sanji and Luffy. She approached them and bowed her head. "I apologize for what I did."

"Well, it's fine, Nami!" Luffy said, laughing.

Robin sidled up to Franky. "Do you think you could give him a sense of direction?" she whispered, gesturing to Zoro, who was greeting Nami while facing the wall.

Franky stared at him and shook his head sorrowfully. "Some things are impossible," he murmured, "even for wizards."

"I understand," Robin said, mournfully bowing her head.

"I'll set sail as soon as possible," Nami was saying in excitement.

"I will come with you!" Sanji cried.

"I wanna come," Luffy said. "I like the sea!"

"Ah, may I join you?" Brook asked. "I have nothing better to do."

"Same here," Zoro said. "Screw scaring away crows, this sounds way more fun."

"Why not?" Nami said, shrugging, all signs of a bad temper gone for the time being.

"What'll you do?" Franky asked Robin and Chopper. "Do you guys have a wish?"

"Well, I don't want to go back to my aunt's house," Robin said thoughtfully. "Nami? May we come with you?"

"Of course," Nami said, smiling. Chopper grinned in delight.

"I'm coming, too!" Usopp said. "I can test my bravery on the open seas!"

"Then . . . I'll come along," Franky said. "I can build a ship!"

"That sounds wonderful," Robin sighed.

"Okay!" Nami exclaimed. "Let's all set sail as soon as possible!"

The time passed in a blur, and the sail of a ship looking suspiciously like the Thousand Sunny unfurled, sending them out to the sea.

Among the laughter of the new crew, Robin woke up.

* * *

"Robin!" Chopper cried, tears in his eyes. Robin blinked in confusion, staring around at the infirmary. "How do you feel? Are you okay?"

"I . . . I'm fine," she said, getting her bearings. "What happened . . . ?"

"Tripped and hit your head," Zoro said, leaning against the open doorframe. "You were only out for ten minutes." Despite this, he seemed very relieved to see her awake.

"Scarecrow . . ."

"What?"

"Nothing." Robin rubbed her head, already bandaged.

"Robin!" Luffy exclaimed, poking his head through. "I was telling you to go take a nap, and then you said okay and left, but I guess you were really tired because you fell and hit your head and didn't stop yourself in time, and you took a nap just now so I guess that works?"

"Luffy, she was hurt!" Chopper exclaimed, still crying in relief.

"Does Brook have a heart?" Robin asked, still confused.

"Metaphorically or literally?" Brook asked, poking his head through above Luffy.

Sanji entered with a bowl of soup. "Oh, Robin- _chan!"_ he cried, seeing her awake. "My dear, how do you feel? Are you well now?"

"I . . . I'm fine," Robin said. "I had a very weird dream is all . . . it was simultaneously the most coherent and least coherent dream I've ever had."

"What's this about coherence?" Usopp asked, coming in after Sanji. "Robin! You're awake!"

"A lion . . . never mind," Robin said, shaking her head. "Franky's not a wizard, is he?"

"Only with mechanics," Nami said.

"But not literally?"

"No."

"And you're not a witch?"

"What did you call me?"

"No, you stopped being a witch."

The others stared at her in concern.

"I think I'll sleep a little longer." Robin rolled over and shut her eyes. "I'm fine, really . . . just tired."

"When did Nami stop being a witch?" Zoro murmured. Nami turned a glare to him and he flinched.

"Did I miss something?" Franky asked, coming in.


End file.
